Here’s Your Signs
and No Wonder Whys

The news hits like a fist to the morning Everybody's fighting, nobody wins Kindness feels rare like a clean confession And I'm so tired of trying again I see strangers sharpening words into weapons Like it's normal to watch people bleed And I keep thinking "what's the point of hoping?" When the world won't let you breathe But my heart is still a small engine Even when it knocks and misfires So I sit with the ache, not running Just staying here in the wire If the world is cruel, then I'll be the shelter Even if I'm shaking, even if I'm small I don't need forever, I need one more minute One more breath to outlast it all Let the darkness talk, I'm not signing the paper Not tonight, not now, not at all If the world is cruel, then I'm going to answer With a stubborn little refusal to fall My feeds are a fire and my head is a hallway Echoes of anger kicking the door Everybody's certain, everybody's righteous And nobody's listening more I want to turn off the whole planet for an hour Let my thoughts unclench their teeth If love is a muscle, mine's trembling But it's still trying to believe If I can't fix the world, I'll fix this moment Hands on the table, feet on the ground If I can't feel hope, I'll borrow it from someone call a real human, say it out loud If the world is cruel, then I'll be the shelter Even if I'm shaking, even if I'm small I don't need forever, I need one more minute One more breath to outlast it all Let the darkness talk, I'm not signing the paper Not tonight, not now, not at all If the world is cruel, then I'm going to answer With a stubborn little refusal to fall

I woke up to the sound of the world not caring Like a phone that rings, but no one's there I tried to be fine in a way that looked convincing But the mirror, it doesn't play fair And every little headline feels like gravel in my teeth And every street light's tired of promises on lease So I keep my hopes small, so it doesn't get noticed It's like contraband, like contraband And if I let go, well I'm scared I won't come back Like I'm hanging off a ledge, like a stitch that finally snaps So I count to four, and I breathe through the pain Because surviving is kinda like a game Hold on, hold on, hold on through the ugly Through the days that feel built to bruise And hold on, hold on, when your heart's outnumbered And the night keeps changing the rules I don't need a miracle, I just need a little traction A reason to stay in my shoes So I'll hold on loud in a quiet war Cause that's what the living do I watched my friends learn new ways to disappear Smiling like it's easier that way I wrote a dozen goodbyes, then ripped them up in private I couldn't make the ink obey And the world's got a talent for turning love into a test And I'm tired of proving that I deserve to rest But something in me still refuses to end Still says not today, not today And if I let go, well I'm scared I won't come back Like I'm hanging off a ledge, like a stitch that finally snaps So I'll count to four and breathe through the pain Because surviving is kinda like a game Hold on, hold on, hold on through the ugly Through the days that feel built to bruise And hold on, hold on, when your heart's outnumbered And the night keeps changing the rules I don't need a miracle, I just need a little traction A reason to stay in my shoes So I'll hold on loud in a quiet war Cause that's what the living do If you're hanging on by a thread, I won't shame you Threads are real, and that's just what they do We can be broken and stubborn at the same time We can be scared and be bold And if the world is a storm with a good disguise I'll be the roof that refuses to cave I'll be the voice in the back of your mind saying Stay, stay, stay Hold on, hold on, hold on through the ugly Through the days that feel built to bruise And hold on, hold on, when your heart is outnumbered And the night keeps changing the rules I don't need a miracle, I just need a little traction Just a reason to stay in my shoes So I'll hold on loud in a quiet war Cause that's what the living do

Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do anymore. It's been a wreck. I'm just glad that you're home. Your coffee cup is still sitting on the shelf Like it's waiting on your hands, not mine And I talk to you when no one else is listening You're like a lifeline And the calendar keeps flipping like a joke As if dates don't know what they've done I keep thinking I'll hear you say hello But the hallway holds its tongue I'm just trying to be brave for everybody But grief isn't a thing to get through It's a quiet kind of weather that That follows you You're still in the house, in the light on the floor In the way I say I'm fine when I'm not anymore In the song in the car that I can't turn up loud Cause your voice would be there and I'd fall apart now And I know you're at peace, yeah I've heard it all too But peace won't fix what I'm going through So I carry you close like a worn out coat You're still in the house and this feels like a joke And I'm not sure if I can take it I fold all your sweaters like they're made of glass Like love can break if I move too fast And the mirror catches part of your face In my eyes then it turns away I replay all your advice like an old voice note Be kind, be steady and don't let go And I hate how the world just carries on Like it didn't lose its sun I'm just trying to be brave for everybody But grief isn't a thing to get through It's a quiet kind of weather that It follows you You're still in the house, in the light on the floor In the way I say I'm fine when I'm not anymore And the song in the car that I can't turn up loud Cause your voice would be there and I'd fall apart now And I know you're at peace, yeah I've heard it all too But peace won't fix what I'm going through So I carry you close like a worn out coat You're still in the house and this feels like a joke If I could trade all my tomorrows For one more ordinary day I'd let you fuss about my jacket And I'd listen and I'd stay I'd ask you every little question I thought I'd have time to ask Now I'm learning that tomorrow It's just a mask You're still in the house, in the light on the floor In the way I say I'm fine when I'm not anymore And the song in the car that I can't turn up loud Cause your voice would be there and I'd fall apart now And I know you're at peace, yeah I've heard it all too But peace won't fix what I'm going through So I carry you close like a worn out coat You're still in the house and this feels like a joke

In Iraq, documented civilian deaths from violence since the 2003 invasion are estimated at about 187,000 to 211,000. In Syria, monitoring groups have documented hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths since 2011. In Rwanda, the 1994 genocide killed more than 800,000 civilians in about 100 days. And in the Democratic Republic of Congo, humanitarian surveys estimated 5.4 million excess deaths from 1998 to 2007. Yemen shows how indirect deaths dominate. The UN projected 377,000 total deaths by the end of 2021, with most caused indirectly by the war's impact on food, health, and infrastructure. I dont know the names of the towns on the screen but i learn their ruins like i've been there before A mother is running with a kid in her arms and my chest feels too small for this world They say collateral like it's weightless and clean Like a word can make rubble less a crime But it's always a bedroom, a kitchen, a street It's always someone's whole damn life I try to look away, I do But the silence feels like choosing a side So I stare till it burns on through And I hate that my hope has to hide War takes the color out of everything Even the parts of us that never held a gun It turns our hearts into tired machines We're running on grief and adrenaline We carry it home like smoke in our clothes Like we can wash it out, like we can pretend But it lives in the jaw, in the stomach, in the bones War takes and it doesn't end There's a countdown somewhere that we'll never see Men in clean suits drawing lines on a map And a kid in a hallway with dust in his hair Learning the sound of a world that snaps We watch from our couches and tighten our fists Like anger can shield them, like fury can help But the helplessness lingers, it stays in the ribs It takes so much of us just being ourselves And I'm tired in a way that's new Like my nervous system won't stand down Like my body is learning it too How the distance can still be loud War takes the color out of everything Even the parts of us that never held a gun It turns our hearts into tired machines We're running on grief and adrenaline We carry it home like smoke in our clothes Like we can wash it out, like we can pretend But it lives in the jaw, in the stomach, in the bones War takes and it doesn't end I used to think after was a place A door we walk through and we'd be okay Now after feels like a long hallway With lights that flicker every day We lose a little faith, we call it being tough We swallow it down till we can't taste the love We still wake up, still show up But God, it costs so much War takes the color out of everything Even the parts of us that never held a gun It turns our hearts into tired machines We're running on grief and adrenaline We carry it home like smoke in our clothes Like we can wash it out, like we can pretend But it lives in the jaw, in the stomach, in the bones War takes and it doesn't end

the sky looks tired, like it forgot how to be blue And every day feels heavy, like bad news in my shoes I keep waking up braced, for a world that won't be kind Like hope is a rumor, and I'm last in line I walk past the same, old cracks in the sidewalk Trying to tell myself, I won't end up in chalk But my hands still know the shape, of simple things Warm mug, slow breath, the way a quiet song can ring If the future feels frozen, I'll start right where I am One breath, one minute, one matchstick in my hand I'm holding on through the bleak, like a matchstick in winter Small flame, big dark, but I won't let it flicker I don't need the sunrise, I just need a little warmer Hope is in me, doing it again I used to think that strength, was never being afraid Now I think it's feeling it, and showing up anyway The days pile up, like stones in my pocket I'm learning how to drop them, so I don't drown I can't fix the whole sky, but I can fix this room And let my nervous system, remember it's safe to bloom So I close the door on all the noise, and let the quiet speak Even if it's quiet, even if it's thin Hope isn't loud, hope is stubborn Hope is in me, doing it again Roll the film of the vision of me that almost vanished Freeze the frame, the moment I chose to stay here Let the storm do its monologue, let it threaten and rage I'm writing a softer scene, on the same old fucking page And if tomorrow's too far, I'll keep it close Count four seconds in, four out like a rope I don't need a miracle, I need a method One breath, one minute, I need to stay connected I'm holding on through the bleak, like a matchstick in winter Even if it's quiet, even if it's thin Hope isn't loud, hope is stubborn Hope is in me, doing it again

I've been counting exits like streetlights Blinking red in the rain, leave before it breaks My chest is a cluttered apartment Full of half-lit plans, trying not to be who I am I'm tired of being brave in the silence I'm tired of trying to act like I'm fine There's five thousand reasons to let go They scream my name like they know But I'm looking for one reason to hold on Just one small light in the frame I don't need a miracle, I need a thread Something true enough to feel If I can't believe in tomorrow yet I'll believe in the next ten minutes still I'm bargaining with the ceiling Like it's got on a switch, I swear I won't quit This room has a gravity of its own I'm pulling hard at my bones, it's saying go home And if all I do is make it through the night Then that's a victory, reaching back to me I'll write my name on the bathroom mirror So I don't disappear, not here There's five thousand reasons to let go They scream my name like they know But I'm looking for one reason to hold on Just one small light in the frame I don't need a miracle, I need a thread Something true enough to feel If I can't believe in tomorrow yet I'll believe in the next ten minutes still

It’s 2 a.m. again, and the ceiling won’t blink My mind won’t stop scrolling through everything I thinkg I keep rehearsing all the worst-case scenes Like pain is a playlist and I'm in control I feel behind in a race I never chose to run Smiling in public, cracking when I'm done Hey—I’m you from later, yeah I know it sounds insane But I’m real as your heartbeat, and you make it past this page I remember this night like a scar that learned to fade And I’m here to tell you: you don’t stay this way You won’t believe it yet, but you will learn your own pace And life gets softer when you stop punching your own face Present says “I’m sinking”—future says “hold the line” Present says “it’s pointless”—future says “give it time” Present says “I’m done”—future says “not tonight” We're going to meet in the middle, and turn on the fucking light I’m split in two—dark now and bright later Both of us talking, both trying to steer I can’t see the end, but you swear it’s there So I’ll borrow your calm and I’ll keep you here If future-me is real, then I’m not finished If you made it out, I can take one more mile So I’ll breathe like I believe you for a minute And let the present and the future reconcile I hate how the world can be loud and mean And still expect you to show up polished and clean I keep comparing my insides to someone’s highlight reel Like that’s a fair fight, like that’s even real And when my phone goes quiet, my thoughts get bold They start writing prophecies in a language made of cold Yeah, I remember that trap—it’s a liar with a voice It talks like it’s truth, but it’s just noise You don’t have to win, you don’t have to be steel You just have to stay human long enough to heal One day you’ll laugh in the same room you cried And you’ll be proud you didn’t leave yourself behind Put your feet on the floor, name five things you can see Drink a little water, come back to your body with me Reach out to a friend, say hey you got a minute Not a perfect answer, just someone to sit in it And if you can’t do hope, do habit If you can’t do strong, do small This is how we survive the spiral One tiny yes at a time, that’s all I’m split in two—dark now and bright later Both of us talking, both trying to steer I can’t see the end, but you swear it’s there So I’ll borrow your calm and I’ll keep you here If future-me is real, then I’m not finished If you made it out, I can take one more mile So I’ll breathe like I believe you for a minute And let the present and the future reconcile